The Soft Skills That Separate Good Leaders from Great Ones
At the beginning of every training session, I introduce myself the same way.
Not with my résumé. Not with credentials. But with what I believe.
When it comes to organizational health, I hold three core convictions:
That third one usually causes people to pause or squirm… The reactions are entertaining.
Most organizations are pretty good at creating good workers. We train for efficiency. We measure productivity. We reward output. But the role of a leader is not simply to extract performance. Leaders are here to grow and nurture good humans, the whole person. Not just how they perform. Not just what they produce. Not just how efficiently they execute.
When we reduce leadership to task management, we may build competent teams.
But when we elevate leadership to human development, we change lives.
Belief number three only works if belief number two is present. You cannot grow whole humans in environments where joy is optional. You cannot nurture potential where fulfillment is dismissed as a luxury.
Joy at work is not soft. It is not naïve. It is not indulgent.
It is fuel.
Research from leaders like Simon Sinek reminds us that people perform at their best when they feel safe and valued. Liz Wiseman’s work shows that people expand when leaders assume their intelligence and capability. Adam Grant’s research reinforces that meaning and growth drive motivation more sustainably than pressure ever will. Daniel Coyle demonstrates that belonging is the foundation of high-performing cultures.
None of that happens accidentally. It happens because of the leader. So today, I want to focus on that third belief. If our leadership only produces good workers, we’ve aimed too low. The real work of leadership is much deeper.
The question isn’t: Are your people more productive?
The question is: Are they growing?
Are they becoming more confident, capable, and self-aware because they work with you?
Good leaders run teams. Great ones change lives. And the difference lives in the soft skills.
Let’s talk about the ones that truly separate good from great.
1. The Ability to Multiply, Not Diminish
Liz Wiseman, author of Multipliers, talks about leaders who either amplify intelligence or unintentionally shrink it. Diminishers are often well-meaning. In fact, in her book, she calls them Accidental Diminishers, implying that these leaders do not intend to be lead badly. They jump in quickly. They solve problems fast. They’re decisive.
But over time, they train their teams to wait on direction.
Multipliers do something different. They create space. They ask better questions. They assume capability before incompetence. They create what Wiseman calls “intelligence amplification.”
Great leaders don’t need to be the smartest person in the room. They make the room smarter.
Soft Skill Shift:
When people feel trusted, they step up. And when they step up, fulfillment follows.
2. The Courage to Lead with Why
Simon Sinek reminds us that people don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.
The same is true internally.
Good leaders focus on tasks. Great leaders connect tasks to meaning. When a leader helps someone see how their role contributes to something bigger, the work changes. It’s no longer “just a report” or “just a shift” or “just another meeting.” It becomes contribution. This creates a real sense of meaning and belonging.
Soft Skill Shift:
People crave meaning. When leaders articulate the WHY clearly and consistently, and connect that WHY to the individuals’ contributions, team members feel anchored. And anchored teams don’t drift.
3. The Discipline of Psychological Safety
Adam Grant often speaks about the power of intellectual humility, the willingness to say, “I might be wrong.” Research consistently shows that teams perform better when they feel safe to speak up.
Daniel Coyle, in The Culture Code, calls it building “safety cues.” Micro-moments that signal: You belong here. Your voice matters. It’s safe to take risks.
Great leaders create environments where:
While it’s easy to view psychological safety as softness, I prefer to see it as a catalyst, a sort of performance fuel. When people aren’t busy protecting themselves, they can focus on producing their best work.
Soft Skill Shift:
4. Emotional Regulation Under Pressure
This one may be the most underestimated. A leader’s nervous system sets the temperature for the entire team. When pressure rises, good leaders focus on solving the issue. Great leaders manage themselves first. They understand that tone travels. They know that their facial expressions, pauses, and reactions ripple across the room.
Emotional intelligence begins with awareness. The kind of self-awareness that recognizes when stress is starting to spill over. The kind of social awareness that reads the room accurately and adjusts tone, timing, and response in real time. Your team learns these skills from what you model.
Soft Skill Shift:
People do their best work when they feel steady leadership beside them.
5. The Skill of Development Conversations
Daniel Coyle emphasizes that high-performing cultures are built through consistent, small coaching moments, not annual reviews.
Adam Grant often highlights the importance of feedback framed as investment: “I’m giving you this because I see your potential.”
Good leaders correct mistakes. Great leaders coach potential. They look for strengths. They name them. They stretch them. They don’t just evaluate performance. They develop people.
Soft Skill Shift:
Fulfillment at work often comes from progress. Leaders who help people see their growth create energy that lasts.
6. The Power of Generous Assumptions
This one is quieter but transformational.
Great leaders assume positive intent first. They pause before labeling someone as lazy, disengaged, or resistant. They ask, “What might be going on here?” Curiosity changes conversations. And when leaders approach situations with generosity rather than judgment, trust deepens.
Trust fuels joy.
Joy fuels performance.
Why This Matters More Than Ever
We are living in a time when burnout is high and belonging is fragile.
People want more than compensation.
They want:
And the leader is the multiplier of all of it.
The soft skills that separate good from great are not personality traits. They are intentional choices. They are deliberate practices. They are habits and behaviors that can be learned and strengthened.
If you want teams that are engaged, creative, and fulfilled, start here:
Because at the end of the day, when we choose to develop and nurture the whole person, we do more than improve performance. We shape confidence. We strengthen character. We influence how someone leads their family, their team, and their future.
That impact does not end when the workday does.
It multiplies.
And in doing so, we plant seeds for a brighter, healthier, more human workplace for generations to come.
About the Author: Christy Benitez
Christy Benitez is a recognized leader in the fields of hospitality, coaching, and teambuilding. With a proven track record in leadership development, talent optimization, and operational excellence, Christy brings a wealth of expertise to RCS Hospitality Group.Christy is a dynamic leadership coach and true people enthusiast. She leverages her hands-on experience to harmonize business priorities with organizational strategies.In her previous role as Director of Talent, Development, and Culture at a private club, Christy excelled in aligning business objectives with talent strategy. She not only developed service standards but also spearheaded and facilitated training programs, fostering a culture of growth. During challenging times, Christy's leadership played a pivotal part in creating new roles and supporting internal promotions, all while maintaining high employee engagement and retention rates.Christy is a certified practitioner with The Working Genius and is dedicated to helping individuals and organizations realize their true potential, enhancing organizational efficiency, and maximizing production and engagement.