The Hidden Currency of Leadership
Technical skill may open the door to leadership, but emotional intelligence (EQ) earns a leader trust, respect, and lasting influence. Defined as the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions while effectively navigating the emotions of others, EQ is no longer a “soft” skill. In the private club world, it’s a strategic advantage.
Private clubs are a unique ecosystem. They blend the emotional complexity of hospitality with the long-term relationships of a tight-knit community. Members don’t simply visit, they belong. Teams don’t just serve, they connect. That’s a lot of pressure on the humans steering the ship. How a GM reacts to a complaint, how a department head handles tension, how a supervisor greets their team on a busy Saturday—all of it shapes culture. Every interaction either strengthens it or dilutes it.
The Science Behind the Smiles
Research backs what the best club leaders already sense: EQ drives performance. A 2024 meta-analysis found a strong positive correlation between emotional intelligence and job performance in hospitality.1 Team members with higher emotional awareness and empathy delivered better service, handled conflict gracefully, and stayed longer. Another study focused specifically on private club managers found that emotionally intelligent leaders were more successful in driving member satisfaction and staff retention—two metrics that define a club’s success.2
But EQ’s benefits go beyond data points. Leaders with high EQ create psychological safety—the sense that people can share ideas, concerns, or even mistakes without fear. In that kind of culture, innovation flourishes, communication deepens, and service naturally rises.3
Why EQ Matters
Unlike hotels or restaurants, private clubs are built on relationships that span years, even generations. Every encounter shapes a member’s sense of belonging. That environment amplifies emotions—positive and negative alike.
A single misunderstanding can ripple through the membership faster than a perfect drive down the fairway. An unresolved staff conflict can quietly erode morale across departments. The opposite is also true: a leader who listens, empathizes, and models composure can turn tension into trust and conflict into connection.
In this sense, emotional intelligence is more than self-awareness. It’s cultural stewardship. It’s how leaders safeguard the invisible threads that tie people to the place.
The Four Dimensions of Emotionally Intelligent Leadership
Pause and Reflect: Which of these comes naturally to you—and where could you use a little fine-tuning?
Be the Thermostat, Not the Thermometer
Every team mirrors its leader’s emotional temperature. A calm, grounded leader invites focus and composure. A reactive one spreads tension faster than a spilled martini at the member-guest.
Emotional contagion is the subtle, often unconscious transfer of mood and energy within groups.4 When leaders demonstrate empathy and steadiness, teams follow suit. When leaders show impatience or indifference, that too becomes the norm. In private clubs, where members are equally perceptive, emotional tone becomes brand tone.
Continue reading for ways to ensure your culture matches your brand!
Building a Culture That Feels Good—and Performs Even Better
Emotionally intelligent cultures don’t happen by accident—they’re intentionally designed. They begin with leaders who commit to self-awareness and extend that practice to their teams.
Here’s how many clubs are building EQ into their DNA:
When emotional intelligence becomes part of the service culture, members feel it. Staff feel it. Turnover drops, satisfaction rises, and “service standards” evolve from checklists into genuine human connection.
The Cost of Low EQ
When emotional intelligence is absent, the fallout is fast and expensive.
Leaders who lack empathy or self-awareness often create fear-based cultures where communication dries up, mistakes hide, and resentment festers. Members sense that shift in energy long before surveys reflect it. High performers burn out or leave, taking trust and institutional knowledge with them.
If your team is quiet and your best employees are slipping away, it may be time for an EQ audit. In an industry built on belonging, disconnection is the costliest liability.
The ROI on Empathy
Organizations that invest in emotional intelligence training report measurable returns: higher engagement, lower turnover, stronger member relationships. A 2024 Forbes Council study called it “the EQ ROI,” linking emotionally intelligent leadership directly to employee well-being and organizational success.5
In private clubs, where experiences are deeply personal, that ROI multiplies. Every empathetic decision builds loyalty. Every emotionally attuned moment strengthens the stories members tell about their club—and employees tell about their workplace.
When people love where they live and work, they become walking, talking billboards for your culture. You can’t buy that kind of marketing.
A Quiet Revolution
The private club industry is in the midst of a quiet revolution. The old command-and-control model is giving way to one rooted in awareness, empathy, and connection. Members expect to be seen. Employees expect to be valued.
Emotional intelligence is how leaders meet those expectations. It transforms transactions into relationships, and relationships into community.
The clubs that thrive in the years ahead will be led by people who understand that emotions drive behavior, connection drives loyalty, and empathy drives performance. They’ll be led by those who know that every interaction is an opportunity to lead with feeling—and that feeling is the future of leadership.
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About the Author: Christy Benitez
Christy Benitez is a recognized leader in the fields of hospitality, coaching, and teambuilding. With a proven track record in leadership development, talent optimization, and operational excellence, Christy brings a wealth of expertise to RCS Hospitality Group.Christy is a dynamic leadership coach and true people enthusiast. She leverages her hands-on experience to harmonize business priorities with organizational strategies.In her previous role as Director of Talent, Development, and Culture at a private club, Christy excelled in aligning business objectives with talent strategy. She not only developed service standards but also spearheaded and facilitated training programs, fostering a culture of growth. During challenging times, Christy's leadership played a pivotal part in creating new roles and supporting internal promotions, all while maintaining high employee engagement and retention rates.Christy is a certified practitioner with The Working Genius and is dedicated to helping individuals and organizations realize their true potential, enhancing organizational efficiency, and maximizing production and engagement.