RCS Leadership Lounge

Mastering Empathy in Conversations

Written by Whitney Reid Pennell | Jan 17, 2025 12:12:57 PM

This is the first of a four-part series on workplace conversations with Whitney Reid Pennell, Founder and President of RCS Hospitality Group.

How to Prepare for an Empathetic Conversation 

Effective communication is key to any successful workplace relationship. Empathy is essential when addressing sensitive issues with employees, whether it is feedback, performance concerns, or offering support. Approaching these conversations with understanding builds trust, fosters open communication, and helps you and the employee move forward.

Here is how to prepare for an empathetic conversation that is productive and supportive for everyone involved.

Step into Their Shoes

Before you sit down for the conversation, take time to think about the employee’s situation. Try to put yourself in their place. What might they be experiencing both professionally and personally? Consider their unique circumstances and how those might shape their feelings or reactions.

Think about what could be most important to them right now, perhaps they are feeling stressed about their workload or anxious about an upcoming deadline. Understanding what they are going through will help you approach the conversation in a way that acknowledges their feelings and concerns.

Focus on What Matters to Them

Every employee is different, and so are their priorities. Whether they are seeking clarity, looking for career development, or dealing with personal challenges, it is important to center the conversation on their needs.

You show that you care about their perspective by identifying what matters most to the employee. This will also guide the conversation, helping you focus on the issues that require attention. For example, if they are concerned about workload, you will want to approach the discussion with potential solutions to ease their burden.

Recognize and Acknowledge Emotions

When preparing for a difficult conversation, it is crucial to acknowledge the emotional aspect of the interaction. People do not just react to facts—they respond emotionally as well. Before meeting with your employee reflect on what emotions they might be experiencing. Are they feeling anxious, frustrated, hopeful, or a mix of emotions?

Acknowledging those feelings without judgment is a powerful way to show empathy. You do not have to solve everything immediately, but showing understanding can set the tone for a constructive discussion. For example, if an employee seems nervous, acknowledging their anxiety with something like, “I can see this might be a stressful topic, and I want to make sure we work through it together,” can go a long way in easing tension.

Clarify Your Intentions for the Conversation

Knowing what you hope to achieve in the meeting helps guide the conversation. Take a moment to think about the outcome you want. Are you looking to resolve an issue, offer feedback, or provide support? Having a clear goal in mind ensures the conversation remains focused and productive.

Also, think about how you can create a positive atmosphere where the employees feel comfortable sharing their thoughts. Consider the tone you will use, the body language you employ, and the overall approach to ensure the conversation remains collaborative rather than confrontational.

Plan Your Approach to Listening and Responding

One of the most important parts of an empathetic conversation is listening. It is not just about what you say, but how you listen and respond. Before the conversation, think about how you can actively listen to the employee’s concerns, without interrupting or jumping to conclusions.

Use open body language and tone that conveys empathy. Make sure the employee feel heard by reflecting on what they say, validating their feelings, and asking clarifying questions if needed. When people feel understood, they are more likely to open up and engage in a productive dialogue.

Work Together to Find Solutions

An empathetic conversation is not just about understanding the problem, it is also about finding solutions together. Think about ways you can collaborate with the employee to address their challenges. This might involve offering support, providing resources, or brainstorming ways to overcome obstacles they are facing.

Rather than simply telling the employee what to do, involve them in the problem-solving process. This will empower them and show them you value their input and want to collaborate with them to find the best path forward.

Reflection: Prepare Mentally and Emotionally

Before you start the conversation, take a few minutes to reflect on your approach. Consider the employee’s needs, your goals for the conversation, and the tone you want to set. Consider how you can stay focused on empathy and constructive dialogue, ensuring the conversation is productive and supportive for both of you.

Conclusion

Approaching conversations with empathy is an essential skill for any leader or manager. It is about more than just being kind, it is about creating a space where you and the employee can communicate openly, understand each other’s perspectives, and work together to solve problems.

Next time you have an important conversation, remember that thoughtful preparation can make all the difference. Putting yourself in the employees’ shoes, focusing on their needs, acknowledging their emotions, and working together on solutions, ensures the conversation is effective, builds trust, and strengthens your relationship.

About the Author

Whitney Reid Pennell, president of RCS Hospitality Group, is a celebrated management consultant, educator, and speaker. RCS specializes in strategic planning, operations consulting, food and beverage management, executive recruitment, and training programs. RCS has been recognized fourteen times with BoardRoom Magazine’s Excellence in Achievement Awards, including staff training seven times. RCS continues to offer innovative solutions through RCSUniversity.com, an online virtual training portal for employees and managers.